Memorial Day Fitspo: Hot Dogs and Bikinis
The Summer Catch-22
For me, when I’m stressed it usually means both time and motivation are in short supply, and my fitness routine is in danger of being bumped in order to knock something off the never-ending chore list instead. Those are the times I need my Shoperone the most. But this week, she happens to also be beyond capacity, so how do two Shoperones keep each other’s heads in the game when it comes to working out? In theory, it’s simple. We focus on the end goal, which, when it comes to motivation, isn't always the same thing for both of us.
In the best and truest meaning of the phrase, we’re both fair-weather friends, so moving to the suburbs meant the illusion of lounging poolside together and enjoying and all the trappings of fun in the sun. I say 'illusion,' of course, because we’re the ones orchestrating said trappings. Our cookouts are, at times, bacchanalian in scale and revelry. This implicitly includes the Shoperone fave: day drinking, which in no way suffers as a result of our hostess duties.
A Sad Equation: Summer = > Calories yet < Clothing
Now, I don’t teach math. In fact, my high school recollection of it was dutifully counting the rows and knots of embroidery thread in the friendship bracelets I pinned to the back of my friend’s uniform during algebra class. But even I can calculate how the increase in calories from summer food and drink is inversely proportional to the size and number of clothing articles worn during consumption. Ironically, summer can actually mean more chores and less time. So, when something adds to the list, like mulching or power washing or weeding or planting, (or parenting or cooking, still always on the list) or even partying (especially parting), these eat into time that could be used for a good workout.
It’s a cruel joke is what it is. Our summer fun equation naturally tends toward a state of fitness deficit. And so, the Shoperone Summer Fitspo (fitness inspiration) is to maintain a stasis where 'beach body' and 'burgers' can exist together in the same corporeal wrapping.
At times like these, a good Shoperone won’t hold back to help you keep your groove. Here are some examples.
Fitspo Example 1: Hurry up and work out so we can go shopping.
I’ll use this one to get Laura to the mall with me, knowing the better she feels, the more likely she’ll be to try on cute stuff for summer parties. She’s motivated because, 1. she loves to shop, and 2., honestly, no one wants to shop when feeling bloated.
When pressed for time, Laura has a few great at-home solutions, insurance that the excuses remain at a minimum. Recently, she designed a robust new home gym, which is well equipped to shred her entire family, should they choose to shred, that is. She also now has Lisa Marie from Sweatflix,(#notsponsored), whose streaming workouts incinerate body fat and ignite metabolism. We like Lisa Marie because it truly seems she feels our pain and hurts along with us, which is somehow comforting. In truth, Lisa Marie scares me a bit, not because she’s scary, but because her power is humbling, and I can’t always bring it like she needs me to, fitspo or not.
Fitspo Example 2: Work out now so we can drink this weekend.
Yes, a good Shoperone reminds you how good you’ll feel when you work out, but when push comes to shove, she may need to dangle a different carrot altogether. As far as motivation goes, this one is like a searing-hot cattle prod on my butt.
When I’m about to crap out or wallow in my own nonsense, I hear my Shoperone’s voice in my head, which will usually guilt me into doing something, anything. (In college, that didn’t always work out well for me.) But where fitness is concerned, I couldn’t ask for a better BFF. So, with eyes on the weekend—particularly the icy beverage part—I’ve also got a couple of options in my back pocket.
Most days, I’ll hit up my ‘home gym,’ which really isn’t in my home like Laura's. It’s Equinox, and it’s everything I’d want in a home: modern, bright and airy, always spotless and a steam room that smells like eucalyptus. Best of all, I don't have to clean it. The schedule of classes is packed, and most of them are rigorous, unless you need something lighter, and they’ve got that too. Laura comes with me sometimes, less for the workouts and more to giggle about how I’m a sucker for shiny things. Of course, my husband and I pay through the nose for such amenities, but what could be better than cold eucalyptus towels on-demand? Not much. And as I’ve mentioned before, Laura does not require such trappings in an establishment.
I’ve also taken her lead to minimize excuses. After about eight months of dropping hints, my husband gave in and ‘surprised’ me with a Peloton bike. No matter if I’m feeling stressed for time, self-destructive, or cross with the world, having it in the house helps me reach for my workout bra instead of the parmesan crisps. In the time it would take me to drive to Equinox and get on the floor, I can be finished with a serious workout and feel good for the rest of the day. Though not for lack of grasping, I really can’t find a reason not to jump on for even fifteen minutes.
And so there we have it. The best motivation is the kind that lays waste to excuses and gets the job done. And, as the Shoperones have found with everything, it’s better with two.
