Backyard Party Style
Like most of us in the Northeast, the Shoperones come alive in summer. It’s when we shake off the cold and shine, right along with the damn hot sun we’ve been missing. When hibernation is over, we feel pretty social, and naturally the RSVPs increase as others want to get together as well, begging the perennial question, “What will I wear?” Usually, this means a chance for a fun, maybe even trendy, summer outfit. But as the Shoperones have witnessed, in the world of suburban backyard parties, sometimes the process can be angst ridden instead.
Ready to Snap.
Recently, Laura received a letterpress invitation for a suburban backyard party in which the dress code was listed as “Snappy Casual.” She photographed it and sent it to me. I nearly fell off my lounge chair, where I'd been luxuriating with cucumbers on my eyes, a facial and bonbons, though it is possible my memory has fabricated these details. Delusion aside, I conjured a persona of the sender, the way we do in marketing. I called her the ‘perfection-seeking party planner’—a woman about our age, in Lilly Pulitzer pajamas and a night guard to keep her locked jaw from gnashing her teeth while she made lists in her sleep. Don't get me wrong, I sometimes gnash, myself. I gnashed so hard once I cracked a molar in the daytime. But this is no way to live purposely. While the planner may have meant well, this party sounded awful already.
Backyard Party + High-tax Neighborhood = Snappy Casual
The request seemed excessive and regulatory rather than fun and fancy. And further, what the hell did it actually mean? Laura and I never received the dress code handbook when we moved out to the burbs, so this was indeed a head-scratcher. She’s even rejected similar invites with other strange dress codes like “festive” or “creative casual,” preferring to stay home rather than negotiate the ins and outs of contrived style dictates. This simply cannot stand.
No dress code should get between a Shoperone and her summer spritzer.
Laura has parties in her resort-style backyard just about every weekend. It’s because we all work hard, and we like to play hard too. With the husbands hoofing it into the city (and around the world) for business all week, they want nothing more than to party in a relaxed, yet lux backyard with all the fun stuff they buy to enjoy it.
Ugg Slides
Maybe too casual, but adorable all the same.
For these events, it’s shorts or skirts and a tank top over a bathing suit and shoes that can get wet. And while it may seem basic, it can still be fun, on trend and adorable, as evidenced by the new Japanese-inspired UGG pool slides I bought Laura for her birthday last month. A couple of years ago in Jamaica, I bought Laura a Red Stripe baseball cap with a built-in bottle opener…that’s the kind of practical yet fun gift that keeps giving, and it’s the perfect look when we’re just kicking it with the family.
Our own backyards notwithstanding, we’re learning how the calculus of “what to wear?” in the suburbs appears quite different from our typical go-to basics for the city or the beach, or even a known venue. So how can you abide by a dress code when you can’t even decipher it? And why do dress codes exist anyway, especially in a backyard?
The answer is, you don’t, because they shouldn’t.
Perhaps a better approach is to remind yourself you’re a grown-ass woman in charge of your look, and that those who try to corral your personal style are simply suffering from some projected OCD need to achieve aesthetic homogeny. Their issue, not yours. So, let it go, sister, and get to planning your amazing, and unique, backyard party ‘fit.
Beware the Garden Variety
Even though the Shoperones don’t follow a code per se, we do have preferences and general stylistic rudders for those of you not wishing to totally Stepford it out in the suburban wilderness. For example, ‘khaki.’ The word alone sounds like a death knell of individual expression. So how do you think they’ll conform to your God-given (and possibly gym-sculpted) shape when you slide them on? Don’t even get us started on fabrics like ‘seersucker’ or ‘chambray.’
Snappy casual makes no sense to the Shoperones.
Our suggestion is to instead strive to be your sassy yet classy self.
To us, the outfit ought to be dictated by the location first and the individual second, and it shouldn’t hurt your head to make it happen. Here are some basics to consider as you divine your backyard party essence.
Swim in good looks. If the pool isn’t only for show, then the gig is probably more casual than snappy, anyway. Wear whatever you want, just as long as you can get dry and put back together easily enough. We do recommend keeping the hair up and not totally submerging, especially if you’re wearing makeup. Unless you’re under 30, which we definitely aren’t, this reasoning should need no explanation.
Sun’s out, so get the guns out. As an upper-body sculpting beast, this is Laura’s number one style priority. Time of day matters slightly, because unless you're below the Mason Dixon, it can get cooler at night, meaning you may need to plan another layer. Also, a daytime party means more chance for tanning the shoulders, so something strappy is always nice. You may even opt for the trendy cold shoulder, off the shoulder or entirely strapless looks the kids today are wearing. But beware, many of these styles make bras impossible, and unless you’re perky like a 20-something, it might not be the look you’re going for. As my childhood BFF Leah always says, “Sure, I could wear that, it would just look different.”
Be well-heeled and love life. Lawns can be the mortal enemies to fancy shoes, especially if they’ve been wet. We all know heels can transform an outfit, and the shape of the leg, but they can also transform your evening if you wind up falling due to uneven or squishy surfaces. What’s worse, they might even blame it on your drinking! The Shoperones have lived and learned, and will never again pair heels with lawns and cocktails. Selecting the right footwear for the event helps you stay in the game longer. There are zillions of adorable sandals out there, but if you’re short, flats can be replaced by a trendy platform or wedged heel. Hint: more surface area = reduced risk of making a fool of yourself, and your date.
Neither hem nor haw. We’ve made it to a point in feminism where hemlines are now a matter of personal preference rather than a political or social statement. We should celebrate this, although it’s important to be realistic when considering the whole ensemble. As a rule, going short is the best reward for the pain you’ve endured from a winter of squats and lunges, so be bold, you’ve earned it. For a backyard party, a mini sundress or even a denim skirt with flats or platforms is a great way to be your sassy self while getting lifted in general. But don’t forget, a latticed lawn chair in a micro-mini skirt can make the wrong kind of impression when you get up. And even though that’s not fashion advice, the Shoperones are always looking out. Remember to spy for a cushioned surface whenever possible.
“When you don’t dress like everybody else, you don’t have to think like everybody else.”
